15 comments

  1. kgonzale

    The application of stories and lives to different characters in a painting was fun and engaging. The ability to go back in the story was useful as it was hard to keep track of all of the characters. I eventually used up all of the links and just ended up going around in circles and couldn’t find an “end”. I wanted to know where the story ended up or how the bullies caused more trouble. I needed something to top off the elaborate back story of the painting.

  2. Toby Donoghue

    I think it was an interesting starting idea to reappropriate a famous painting and kinf of tell your own narrative of it and make up lives for the characters. I do however wish there was more of a point than just learning little facts about the different girls. the story never really went anywhere and didn’t have an end point so I felt unresolved leaving the game.

  3. hepstein

    In theory, I like this. If polished it feels like a museum education tool.
    However, lot of dead ends, spelling mistakes and unfinished narratives.

  4. Shannon

    I like the idea of this, taking a famous painting and assigning your own story. I enjoyed clicking through and going back to see different characters and their narratives. I think it could be edited a bit more, there are some grammatical errors that really distract from the story.

  5. smsyjuco

    I found the premise of the piece very interesting, and appreciated these little snippets of everyones’ lives as we moved around the painting. However, I wasn’t sure what the overarching story or meaning was, and think that perhaps a more structured order would have been helpful rather than just pressing back buttons.

  6. rlawanta

    The concept of fleshing out characters in a painting was really interesting and kept me engaged. However, I found it hard to navigate through all the different options and i wish there was a way that you could clicj on the painting itself to select the individual characters.

  7. Annie

    I really like the idea of providing background stories of each character. I also find that the back button is very necessary in this case because other wise you would need to restart the game every time you reach a dead end.

  8. anathani

    This twine started out really well, the concept of creating a story out of a painting is one that kept me clicking. Yet, there were a bunch of grammatical errors and instead of there being dead ends, I would have really loved to see a button that takes you back to the anchor. I found myself exhausting the links and not finding an end. It was like a set up for a story, but the story never took place. I would like to see this being pushed farther! Otherwise, cool concept.

  9. Charlie

    I like the way you took a slightly different approach to the “narrative,” by creating characters from the figures in the painting. However, I wished the storyline and the characters were more connected as I am constantly reaching dead ends after following the path of each character. I’m also not entirely sure what the purpose of the story was.

  10. ggsimmon

    I really liked the idea that the painting would be broken down into all these mini narratives. I did enjoy how the back stories of each of the girls/students was given, but I do wish maybe there was some sort of larger story overall that involved all of them. There were a few grammatical errors, but not any that I found distracting. I also think it was smart to use cropped images that you could then elaborate on. Maybe you could add an additional page at the end, that shows the painting in its entirety, and then connect all the little details you spoke of. That way you would carefully provide background, and one cohesive story by the end. Very interesting and creative concept.

  11. rnayyar

    I liked this a lot and thought it was the start of something really beautiful. Some typos and name switcheroos jolted me from the content but I liked where everything was going. I love creating little backstories for pictures and stuff like that too. Maybe, if you ever do decide to rework on this, you could allow the viewer to select from a few famous paintings with a lot of people. It’s a sweet little peek into your mind 🙂

  12. ldenegre

    The idea of delving into the narrative of a painting and making it your own is really interesting! I think the revised version of the story is WAY WAY more engaging. Adding a main character and more dialogue really helped, and I played the game through a couple times. I think the story could be added to a little more and cleared up, with a little more investment in the characters, but I like it overall!

  13. Brandon

    Sick!!! I agree with Lucy’s comment above; the very idea of using meticulously painted characters in a painting and constructing a story out of them is genius.

  14. akapusci

    After playing just the revised edition: I’m a great fan of the concept, it really lets your imagination run wild. It’s a shame though that you didn’t get to really dig deep into the painting, or even involve details of the context of the work/the time period itself. Definitely has a lot potential that you could use as a jumping point. The layout of the twine is clunky (mainly due to big images), but I actually find that it contributes to strong association between painting and narrative. Which is especially helpful considering the rare switches between the reporter’s narrative and that of other characters.

  15. Paolo Pedercini

    I played the revised version. Good starting point but underdeveloped, you could have outlined the historical context, or developed some kind of theme, perhaps related to the fact that the characters are in a painting as opposed to any other image, or played with different point of views (like you sort of did with the dog).