Shannon’s Twine Project

http://shannoncase.neocities.org/BLORB.html

15 comments

  1. smsyjuco

    I think that the formatting could be a little less cluttered – the text is difficult to read with it all compacted into one space.

    However, I really liked how the story ended – there was no closure and for a moment I was confused about whether or not I had missed a button to continue. But I think that’s how the ending of it should feel – there isn’t closure, and there isn’t a nice little denouement, the toy ends up stuffed somewhere and forgotten and is just waiting to be picked up. It’s an expectant, abrupt kind of halt which I feel suits the story’s progression.

  2. akapusci

    It seems a more personal piece, but one that can certainly be related to. Not only that, a perspective from the items that become valuable and then lose intentionality is an interesting take, that I wish you would have taken further. I’m not under the impression that making any of these choices (as Blorb) would really change anything within the story, which in itself is a shame.

    The overall layout of your twine fits the personality of your protagonist; the colors give an idea of Blorb’s nature, even the clutter (where he really only gets 4-6 words per line) adds into that portrayal. Some parts of the story are reiterated, where they don’t have to be.

  3. anathani

    For a second I thought that the ending was a mistake, and that I had missed something, but I agree with Sofia- the lack of closure is a nice realistic touch to this story. It was brave of you to do something that seems was so personal, and the story is definitely a relatable one. The UI does give a feeling of Blorbs energy- naive and childish, kind of like a childs nursery, ready to experience the new things in the world but maybe not quite fully understanding.

  4. ggsimmon

    I like that this was from the perspective of the stuffed animal. I thought it gave enough context to a personal story, while still leaving some room for mystery. It also made witnessing the story feel less creepy/invasive and more about how certain objects can actually “see” what’s going on, and how certain objects can have associations depending on who we were with, or where we were when we had them with us. I do feel the ending was sometimes abrupt but this didn’t bother me – it felt fitting in this story. I also really liked that you had option to just abandon/lose the sloth so that the story ended – that was funny.

  5. ldenegre

    There are an impressive number alternate endings to this game! I was surprised by how many ways the story could go.
    Its obviously a very personal story, especially when you start including personal photos. It’s a little cheezy, but I feel like I’m peeking in to a story in your life. Theres so many possible endings though that it’s hard to tell fact from fiction.
    I do think making the text box wider would make it easier to read.

  6. Toby Donoghue

    I loved how simple yet beautiful and sad the whole piece was and the choice to write from a stuffed animals perspective was very cute and interesting. I have to say that some of my favorite moments were when the perspective and insight of the stuffed animals gave you clues about the kind of human relationships that were going on. in that way i really enjoyed this sense of double narrative; seeing things as blorb sees them and also reading between the lines to see the larger background story of the couple who owned him.

  7. kgonzale

    I feel so bad that the sloth didn’t get to see what happened next and because he didn’t i didn’t. I think this was a good choice not to reveal the end of the relationship, good or bad, because i allows there to be more pity for the third part viewer, Blorp, and not so much attention to the relationship.

  8. Paolo Pedercini

    I know it’s personal material but I was hoping that you would explore more the alternative ways the relationship could have gone. Instead I always end up summarily lost or forgotten. I like how the story happens in the background and that I don’t quite know if I’m supposed to care about the humans or my life as third wheel/semi-autonomous plush toy.

  9. rlawanta

    I enjoyed the perspective of the writing and the simplicity of the story worked for me. I think the story feels personal and i think how you fleshed out blorb’s personality was the best part of the story.

  10. mreyes

    The use of the sloth was a really smart move in this as it’s cuteness instantly made me invested in them. The small lines where the sloth talks about wanting to snuggle or how it wishes for real food for my tummy where really adorable. How the relationship affected the sloth made me more engaged with the boy and the girl. I think the go back feature fits well into your piece and it would be interesting to explore that more.

  11. rnayyar

    Aw… Stick a knife right through my heart, yeah? I used to get emotional about my stuffed animals being neglected over time :/

    This is delightfully yet solemnly personal. I appreciated the naivety of the stuffed animal a lot.

  12. Sarah Kim

    It was interesting choice to go through this in stuffed animal’s point of view. The story was something that can happen to anyone and I think that’s why it was successful. I was able to relate to the story and get really in to it. Great job!

  13. Brandon

    I strongly think you would have benefited from a more concise style of writing, and I didn’t particularly understand your decision to cram your blocks of text into a box on the side of the window.
    Your choice to narrate this story from the view of the plush sloth was cute, but you focus largely on the humans’ individual relationships, so much that at some points i feel as though the story is more about the sloth’s owners’ lives than it is about their relationship with the sloth. Am I supposed to feel empathy for my owners? Am I a stuffed sloth with a profoundly thorough understanding of the way people interact with each other?

  14. Annie

    I love the story and it’s really cute. As a player you can get totally engaged in the relationship between the two human characters though you are technically a stuffed sloth. But because the sloth is an observer and he cannot get physically involved in the relationship, I wonder if there are possibilities to give the sloth information that only he know that could potential affect where the relationship ends up. but he cannot say it out and that would create interesting situations.