Toby Donoghue, Twine Project

Keeping Up With Odd, By Toby Donoghue

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/old/Keeping_Up_With_Odd_Final.html

15 comments

  1. vvinnak1

    Felt so relatable and personal! I think you did a great job with the use of images along with your words..so its no just a bunch of words. i love how the messages felt very real just like I was gazing at my phone.
    🙂

  2. smsyjuco

    The writing was beautiful, and you paced it in such a way that everything still felt intimate and important, rather than a barrage of information. The use of the song as a centralized location from which to visit other “chapters” of the piece was very smart, and thematically appropriate.

  3. anathani

    I really commend the work you put into this Twine. The idea of having the song as your base was nice. I felt as though the UI didn’t need to be as femme as presented, but it didn’t detract from the story. There were times I found myself losing interest, and that’s where I feel the editing could have been (less is more), but over all the pacing of the story, the techniques you used to show display different facets, and the ending (I chose option 3) was relatable and gave me this wistful feeling.

  4. ggsimmon

    This was such a personal and generally engaging piece. Really lovely writing throughout and such an interesting way to capture stories within the lyrics of a song. This felt very real and very natural within the medium you used – you could explore in any order and I appreciated the additions of images throughout. I think you did a great job of presenting information in a non-sequential/untraditional way that still felt really cohesive by the end.

  5. rnayyar

    Crazy amounts of effort and personality went into this. You always go above and beyond to follow through with an assignment and make true art rather than just cater to a project need. Spectacular exploration of Twine interface.

  6. hepstein

    The best parts were the text messages (as a convention, I think they work) and the boob pics.

    Otherwise it’s a lot of very personal, very certain-kind-of-wallowy-drama that I think can be embarrassing but also maybe a good product for junior high girls to consume. I don’t know. Like an interactive diary.

  7. kgonzale

    Undeniably this is an extremely personal piece that must have taken a lot of time and considering to piece together into this project. Despite the emotions and actions relayed in the story you seemed to have bee very composed and organized enough to write it all down with such flare and intrigue. your story was never ending and i assume that it is a metaphor for the current state of your relationship. the way the player continually goes around in circles not really knowing what is gonna happen next or where you will end up was a really incredible and sneaky way to give the player tiny tastes of emotions and attachment which you have experienced (on a different level of course). really great job overall though!

  8. rlawanta

    I think whats unique about this story is how its really about exploring the mind of the person in the story. I cant help but feel a strong connection between the story and the author which is not something you could say with every story. Great job!

  9. Annie

    I love the messages placed in the introduction, they really made this piece feel real.
    The only question I have regards the last line of the song. So when you first select that line, and you refreshes once to get a notification. However, if I chose option 3, I’ll never be back to make a decision later? Or say, if I accidentally liked refresh two time, since the message only appears if the count is 1, then does that mean I’ll never be able to read the message?

  10. ldenegre

    Geeze this was very personal and hit a little too close to home for me. Very touching game, poetic language and beautiful use of photography. Really liked the layout and how you kept branching off and coming back to the song. Its obvious that you put SO much work into this.
    The new message thing at the end could probably be tweaked a bit, since it just keeps going up without being able to read them.

  11. mreyes

    I really admire you for being able to be so open in this piece. It’s very touching and reflective. The varying formats of storytelling was really ambitious of you but, it pays off and kept me interested and always feeling like there were things to uncover. Excellent work.

  12. Paolo Pedercini

    Toby, this is wonderful! It’s a bold and intense use of autobiographical material that you manage to present in an earnest and non-cliche’ nor sappy way. Although I felt compelled to read it somewhat linearly, I think the hypertext form works very well with the concept and makes the big choice at the end very powerful. Great job!

  13. Sarah Kim

    I loved how intimate this was. It felt very personal and that I was peaking through someone’s memories. I also loved your style of writing as well.

  14. Brandon

    This got extremely personal in a way that made me think that the discomfort I felt while reading it was intentional on your part. It was really effective, your choice to make the story as intimate as it was. At the end, I clicked on “I love you” and chose the third option to go to bed and deal with the situation another time. When i revisited the same button, though, my only option was to keep refreshing the messages, never being able to read them. If this is your way of withholding closure from the reader, I think you did a splendid job of prolonging my emotional investment.

  15. akapusci

    I commend you for being to open up in this way and having the courage to share it with others. One of the conclusions I reached about this written and interactive medium is that – through its grueling assembly and shifting choices – twine really allows for a thorough deliberation of ideas and eventually, closure once these ideas are exhausted and all seems to have been said. I recognize that idea in your piece.
    In terms of technicalities: maneuvering through the work gets tiresome after a while so I would reconsider a slight alteration of the layout (that is otherwise very neat), just so that your audience doesn’t lose interest without getting acquainted with the work.