1. Toby Donoghue

    Yo! I loved the inclusion of the dead rat graphic and i think that the incorporation of more elements like this in the game would have elevated it to a different level and added a bit more interest. I also found the very decisive almost crude and indifferent tone of voice in the narration to be very interesting snd effective in portraying the overall grimy and kind of depressive mood of the whole scenario. I would say though that i found it frustrating coming to so many dead ends and having to use the back button (which was hard to find on the black background) . it felt like we had a choice and then we realized we really didn’t and were forced to go down the path you presented to us. Maybe consider fleshing out some more of those options and making an even wider web.

  2. hepstein

    Lots of dead ends.

    Also, spelling mistakes.

    The story feels kind of pointless but if pointlessness is the point there are too many disparate scenes that don’t feel consistent to a single story, indicating a lack of focus or intent.

  3. Sarah Kim

    The imagery was really powerful throughout this game.
    As a player, the vivid imagery of the rat and the cockroaches, the most foul smell one could possibly encounter, and the sense of panic all supported each other well. I thought when the sweat was rolling down the neck, I actually felt nauseous and uncomfortable.

  4. rlawanta

    I think the story manages to capture the atmosphere and feel of the environment well. The thing that really stood out to me is tone of the writing which does a good job of reflecting the attitude/personality of the subway operator. I appreciated the rat animation and i thought it fit well with the overall theme. However this left me wanting more of the same; maybe just 2/3 more gifs for the entire story. The looping/reincarnation element is an element that i found very interesting and is weaved seamlessly into the story. The only thing that was slightly confusing was the the back button which is hard to spot against the background.

  5. Shannon

    Brandon, this story is so creepy (that’s a good thing!!). There were some choices where I wanted to know more but I ended up at a dead end. I wasn’t able to see a back button until I read the comments, so I had to keep refreshing the page and restarting. I really like the voice of the character, it makes me wonder a lot more about him than what is told- I would love to see an expanded version with more paths.

  6. Charlie

    Brandon, son, I really like this. You captured the essence of the New York subway system very well. Sometimes sitting on the A train, I would wonder what the hell the conductor is up as the train stops and goes every few seconds. I love the gif you included but it also left me wanting more nam sayin’. I also enjoyed the looping mechanics of the story as one storyline comes to an end.

  7. rnayyar

    A bit underwhelming in the end. Was hoping for more exploration of trips and such. The continuity of the light was pretty interesting though, being in a dark tunnel and all.

    Love the cavalier attitude of the MTA conductor though.

  8. Annie

    I also really liked the tone of narration and it defiantly adds to the overall presentation of the story. Thought it was frustrating when I kept hitting the dead ends and I had to refresh to see if anything else comes up if I made another decision (I assumed that there is no return button since it blended too well into the background), I still think this fits with the overall vibe of the story. However, I was a little confused about the change in character. So you start as the rat and you became someone else when the rat is crushed?

  9. smsyjuco

    I really enjoyed the tone of this entire piece, from the font choices, to the colors, to the imagery you used – it all added up to a really strong aesthetic that, while doesn’t seem very different from your other work, is very distinctly yours. I agree that it didn’t really seem to have a point or a goal, but the way you wrote it, I didn’t want one. I was quite content to just see where it led me. Great job on this.

  10. anathani

    I immediately could tell we were in a NYC subway (all too familiar to both of us) and the candidness/jadded attitude of the conductor is one I can imagine a lot of them having. The story is really you, but I kept hitting dead ends. The writing was interesting but the overall point is missing. I liked the interface and insertion of the rat gif.

  11. mreyes

    The execution of both writing and graphics is really strong. The graphics complement the story and I like the restraint in only using one gif. The reason for the importance kind of escaped me, but maybe I just need to read it again. You also did a good job packing in many interesting concepts and themes into a fairly short story.

  12. ggsimmon

    I really like the choice of black background with yellow lettering – it felt sort of grim which fit the game well. I do appreciate all the dead end options, but I wish there was an easier way to get back to the starting point again (maybe you should have included return buttons). The pointlessness theme is felt heavily in the game; it’s dark but still engaging and feels like the narrative is something you just let happen. I sort of wish at least one option you choose would end up feeling like a resolution by the end, though.

  13. ldenegre

    Graphics really successfully replicated early video game aesthetic! Game is pretty funny but doesn’t seem to have that much of a point? It’s a fun and pretty engaging game, and I played it all the way through a couple times, but it seems like you just wanted to make something gross or ridiculous for the hell of it, which is understandable, tbh.

  14. ldenegre

    Oh – also took me forever to find the black back button on the black background – if that’s something you want people to be able to use you should definitely make it a different color.

  15. akapusci

    It was fun to solve your game – as that is what it seems when you’re given but one true story line to follow – even though thematically there didn’t really seem to be a reason for why that one was better than the others. The ending doesn’t solve that question or the question about the aim of the game either. The classic layout fits the story well and the aesthetic choice of bringing up a graphic for the pivot point of the game was, surprisingly, very successful as it lends it an early sense of rhythm.

  16. Paolo Pedercini

    It starts in an intriguing way but the first choices (look up etc…) taking you to dead ends are just not meaningful, their result is arbitrary and “unfair”. It’s like trolling the reader/player, it can be done (e.g. Cat mario, Stanley Parable), but you have to also administer some kind of reward.